Worn Out

Today I:

• Scraped and painted the front porch steps
• Removed the front storm windows, cleaned out all the dead bugs on the window sills, and washed the windows inside and out
• Watered all the plants and trees
  
• Spray painted two chairs
• Spray painted two outdoor candle holders
• Weed whacked the yard
• Trimmed the bushes in front of the house
• Picked peppers
  
• Mowed the grass (or, I should say, the longs wispy puffs that are growing above what used to be my grass)
• Went to Home Depot
• Mulched the front beds
  
• Pumped up bike and car tires with a foot pump, and in the process tried to guillotine my big toe (word of advice: never use a foot pump with sandals on)

Doesn't sound like all that much, but I'm worn out. Still, I love days like this, piddling around with projects and taking care of our little piece of the world.

Sunshowers in Blue Skies

There's a dude on my roof (who has the biggest afro I've ever seen, by the way) cleaning out my gutters with a garden hose. It looks like it's raining, but just on my house. It's clear and nice once you get a foot beyond the perimeter.

Stumbled into this deal, though. I was chucking balls with TB in the front yard on Sunday. This guy came to look at a job he was planning next door. I grabbed him and three days later we have clean(er) gutters. That's just how you have to do it sometimes. You call, you get on a list and they get to you when they can. If you know they are going to be right next door anyway, grab 'em.

By the way, right now I'm listening to the new Beck album, Modern Guilt. Love it so far. I'm on track #5. Somehow my title "Sunshowers in Blue Skies" seems like a good title for a Beck song.

The Purge

This weekend we had a yard sale. If you've ever had a yard sale, you know it's usually a lot of work for little financial gain, but the reward is in the cleanout.

LBB started last week by pulling things out of closets. Then Friday night, I got up in the attic and hauled down a bunch of mess: a barely used twin mattress and box spring, a gigantic Georgia O'Keefe print that I bought when I had my own place in D.C., three TV sets, a desk chair, etc. Then I moved on to the garage and the basement.

We also pulled out a ton of toys and books that TB has aged out of. At first, I didn't think books would sell. I suggested we donate those directly to Goodwill. As it turns out, they were a best seller.

Our friends down the street were selling, too, as was the church a little further down. So we had a good bit of traffic.

In the end, we did pretty well. About $250 in sales, two carloads of leftovers to Goodwill, and I only had to haul a few things back into the house. I was tired and sore by Saturday evening, but it was worth it.

Plus we got to meet all the characters that come out for these things: there was one pair of old, handicapped homosexuals that I remember from our last sale four years ago. They stayed for close to a half hour and only bought one Patsy Cline record for 25 cents. They were amusing, though.

Carloads of older people, of course.

Then, as I was getting ready to clean up, a shaky looking fellow arrived. He had a ponytail, was all sweaty, and had a cig dangling from his mouth. Honestly, I think he was a junkie. I asked, "How are you doing today?" and he replied, "Well, I'm vertical and I'm breathing, so OK I guess."

He turned out to be one of our best customers.

After we cleaned up from the sale, we had to scurry to a graduation party and then on to the Rock Symphony Circus performance by the Roanoke Symphony Orchestra. I'll post a review of that show later.

Busy day!

Disgustorama

The day started out pleasantly enough. TB slept relatively late, until almost 8:00. Had coffee and read the paper until it was time to take him to Sunday school. It's his last time until September. One day I'll tackle the topic of the moral rights and wrongs of dropping your child at Sunday school and hightailing it out of there without ever setting foot in the chapel for services.

I had promised a bike ride today, since TB received a new bike yesterday as an early birthday present. His old bike was starting to rust and he blew the tires out a couple weeks ago. We replaced it with a nice BMX bike from Dick's Sporting Goods. I say it's a nice bike, because it cost $125 but it was the cheapest one they had! Still, he got four good years out of the old $40 bike, so I don't mind the price.

After Sunday school we headed for the greenway. The new bike is a little big for him, so he's still getting used to maneuvering it. He only cut off one car down by the hospital. Overall, not a bad debut outing. The biggest problem was that once we reached the farthest point of our ride, it started raining and blowing pretty hard. We were soaked and cold by the time we got home.

Some dry clothes and lunch made it all better.

Then, I knew the chore list was coming, because my wife started asking me "What do you think about . . . ?" Whenever she starts a question that way it means there is a task at hand.

It started easily enough. TB had a friend over so she wanted to go through his room and purge a bunch of junk while he wasn't paying attention. You know what I mean: little plastic Burger King toys, random pieces of string, worthless key chains, piles and piles of school worksheets and art projects (you can't keep them all, right?).

That project took about twenty minutes, and then it went downhill fast. Apparently, in our main level shower (which we never use), there has been evidence of little black ants coming and going. She asked me to caulk. Ugh. I hate caulk, but I knew it was a necessary project because there were some loose tiles and obvious cracks around the shower floor. Also, I noticed the caulk around the commode was getting discolored and unpleasant looking.

Then, the thing I dreaded most: a clogged bathroom sink. Have you ever removed one of these things and all the other pieces connected between the sink stopper and the wall pipe?


I have to clean them out a couple times a year in our bathroom, I'm guessing because of makeup and those other mystery potions that LBB uses. This time, though, it was my son's bathroom. I hadn't taken that one apart since we moved here 6 1/2 years ago. Oh. My. God. How do you describe the the most wretched thing you've ever experienced? I mean what the hell is that black, slimy mess that congeals up in there?

Every time I do this I nearly gag. It's an easy project so I can't really justify hiring someone to deal with it, but it would almost be worth it.

So pardon me while I take a long shower. Later I may have to do some tequila shots to erase the memory of this wretched experience.

Aren't you glad I shared?

Extreme Chore Weekend

We've had a huge and growing list of chores to tackle around here, and April was pretty much lost, so this weekend we tore it up.

Things started slowly on Friday, no set plans, just the family at home, making some grilled fajitas and dining on the deck.

Then, my neighbor suggested a few orange sodas at the pub down the street. LBB and TB proceeded toward a wholesome and sensible bedtime, whereas I stumbled home about midnight. OK, I know that's not all that late, but considering our usual bedtime is 9 or 10, it was late for me.

Still, I woke up Saturday ready to take on the world. TB had an early birthday party to attend at 9:30, so I took the opportunity to hit the Home Depot to prepare for extreme home chore weekend. Then, I needed a few things for the car, so I went to Advance Auto.

After the boy's party, the plan was to have lunch downtown and hit the market for some herbs to pot and put out on the deck and some veggies, just for eating. We forgot about the chili cookoff going on, but it was no big deal, we found a parking spot within five minutes (and that was with an extry thousand or two people downtown . . . I hear a lot of complainin', but believe me, parking in downtown Roanoke is no problem.)

The market veggies didn't look so good, except for some whopping big onions and some great summer squash, so we skipped that, but we eventually found our herbs. We had lunch in the Market Building we hundreds of others. The weather was great, so Saturday was a huge day for downtown Roanoke.

Then the chores began. TB had a buddy over, so he was happy. I decided to start with some exterior touch up painting. A layer of Killz on Saturday and a top coat on Sunday. Discovered some rotting fascia wood under some of my gutters. That was disheartening.

Then, what else did we do: between the two days I did more painting, washed the cars while TB washed the bikes, did the primer, color, and clearcoat painting on the damaged Camry, fertilized the lawn, hauled all the inside plants out, planted the hot pepper garden, cleaned the garage (including suspending the bicycles from hooks on the wall - been meaning to do that for six years), replaced some window screens, patched some foundation cracks and a gaping hole that has emerged on our front porch steps, put out some ant traps - little black ants are my mortal enemy, hacked down a bunch of brush next to the fish ponds, and generally piddled around with other overdue tasks.

LBB attempted to begin the dreaded attic cleanout. Every time I go up there I want to hurl up my breakfast it's such a mess. I don't like pack-ratting, and we've managed to fill every nook and cranny of our nearly 4000 sq. ft. It's time for a purge! But it got hot up there pretty quickly so she didn't get too far. Then she tackled the hall coat closet, which was also a mess. This inspired me to go through my dresser since we had a Goodwill bag filling up. Sadly, I had about eight pair of jeans and shorts that I can never hope to squeeze into again. Out the door. Then, she planted the herbs in pots and did all the watering and Miracle Gro'ing.

We had to pull out all our bedroom furniture, because we're having the room painted today, so that's exciting.

Saturday night, we went to our friend's house and ordered take out from the Isaacs restaurant over in Grandin village. That was my first experience with them, but I assure you it won't be the last. Very, very good Greek food. I had a falafel sandwich and a blue cheese side salad. The falafel was a bit lighter and, I thought, better seasoned that the more common middle eastern variety.

TB spend Sunday afternoon bike riding, throwing baseballs, and otherwise carrying on with one of his friends. Then Sunday evening there was a picnic planned at the playground by Penn Forest Elementary. I don't know if it was the allergies or exhaustion, but he initially threw a tantrum and declined to go! I'm not sure I've ever seen my son turn down an event. Of course, it probably didn't help that I had already reneged in favor of staying home to do some paperwork for my Mom. In the end, he went, had a fine time, came home a bit before dark and continued to rage on by riding his bike up and down the sidewalk for another half hour.

He was most proud because he topped off his busy day by skidding on his bike and blowing out a tire. Considering that it was a $40 bike and he's had it for three years, and he's got a birthday coming up, I'm thinking he just might be getting a new bike. As long as he cans it with the tantrums.

What a weekend!

It's Too Ironic

Don't you think?

The definition of irony has always troubled me, and many others. It's certainly not "rain on your wedding day", as Alanis Morrissette sang. It's more like, wife runs off with the priest on your wedding day.

Its other meaning isn't quite sarcasm, either. It's more wry, less venom.

So why is it that it's still the first word that comes to mind in situations like this? My wife and I, last Christmas (2006) decided to get gas logs for our fireplace as our mutual gift. Well, we waited and waited and never got around to it, and finally, two weeks ago, we bought the logs.

We called a few plumbers and other contractors of that ilk to get estimates, and finally settled on the company we already contract with for heating and cooling.

So they came today, ran the gas lines, set up the logs, and now we are ready for a warm, cozy maintenance free fire.

Except it was about 72 damn degrees today, and it's still over 60 at 9:15 PM. Who needs a fire?

Isn't it ironic? Don't you think? I bet you do, but it isn't. It's not really a shame, either, if you want to be technical about it.

This coming weekend, icy conditions and cold air should present perfect conditions to enjoy a synthetic fire. That, I think, is just a bit ironic.

Making the Best of a Rainy Day

LBB announced a few days ago that Sunday would be cleaning day. That might sound like she put the screws to me to pick up a mop, but the truth is, it just meant she wanted us out of the house for a few hours.

No problem.

Their beach trip was obviously wiped out because of G'diddy's hospital stay (which will soon evolve to a skilled nursing facility stay - he's getting better, but still not ready to go back to his apartment). There were kids in the house almost every day last week. Spring break became Honeytree on Jefferson, so the house needed some attention. I think my wife's spring break begins when TB goes back to school tomorrow.

When LBB was still working full time, we used to clean together on Thursday evenings so it would be looking good for the weekend. Then about three years ago, the stars lined up nicely and we were able for her to quit her job. She took over the cleaning then, and even though she's now working part time, it's still her thing. I'll vacuum or mop from time to time, but usually she's done it while I'm at work. And even though I like to cook, I'm not allowed to on cleaning day, because I supposedly make a mess.

So the boy and I headed for the hills. Actually, had it been a nice warm day, we may have literally headed for the hills for a hike. Instead, since it's cold, rainy, and dreary this weekend, we went out to lunch.

I had a few things to get at Target, so we went out that way. Had lunch at Red Robin. TB went to town on his fries, but he didn't seem to care much for his chicken fingers. I had a bacon cheeseburger, which was good, but at $7.99, I could have done just as well at Hardee's and saved about $5. Red Robin seems to be exceptionally proud of their fries. Not sure why. They are thick cut steak fries, but there's nothing special about them. Ore-Ida.

Then we made the Target run. Primarily, we were looking for the game Sorry. TB played with some friends last night and seemed to love it, and I remember playing as a kid, so I thought it would be a fun family thing. LBB wanted a long handled scrub brush for the baseboards around the house (yes, she is a clean machine). I almost bought a crock pot. We never had one, and I'm always teasing my wife, asking what she has in the crock pot for supper. They had a nice little red one for $20. I only got as far as picking up the box, but it never made it to the cart. As an impulse, I did buy an American flag. Oddly, we never had one, and every time we go to Lowe's, TB asks me to buy one. I'm pleased that he wants to fly the flag. Also, once I put up the flag pole holder, I can torture my wife by flying a Mets flag from time to time.

After Target, it was up to the hospital to visit G'diddy for awhile. We can't linger long, because the boy gets bored and starts grabbing at IV poles, and reaching for the Code Blue button and such. After about 30 minutes there we headed home. LBB went up later for a longer visit.

We played Sorry three times and I got slaughtered every time. I piddled around reading blogs, and listened to some music (Moby, Built to Spill, Neil Young, America, and Shadowfax - I'm in a rainy day way, today).

Then we had some spaghetti carbonara for dinner, and it's time to wind up another weekend. Overall, except for G'diddy being in the hospital, it was a pretty good rainy day.

Little Black Ants

They are back. This is the first warm weather season for JSR online, and let me tell you that I have an ongoing hatred for little black f****** ants. They are inside my pantry, underneath my detached garage, crawling up my foundation, and, figuratively, right up inside my pants.

I vow to eradicate these things. If you do the research online, it looks like the professionals have little else to offer but baits and sprays near where they get in the house. Easier said than done on a house nearly 80 years old.

Last year, after spraying to no avail, we finally tried "Grant's Kills Ants" baits. They worked, but it was August by that time. I'm going to give them another try, inside and out. We now have baits all around the foundation and the garage, inside near the kitchen and the pantry, and in other random places. I sprayed the foundation, set off a bomb in the sub-earth below the garage; and, tomorrow when the TB isn't around, I'm going to bomb the myriad crawl spaces we have under this infested hovel.

This is another reason, besides politics, for me to blitch about the south. Bugs were never a problem up in New York.