I Went and Got Myself Hit By a Goddam Car

Leaving work today, as I was walking to the parking garage and whistling a jolly tune, I went and got myself hit by a goddam car. It reminds me of this classic piece from The Onion.

I only have to go through two intersections to get to my car, and today I didn't even make it through the first one.

I was walking with the light. I had the bright white WALK sign in my favor. There was a car in the cross street planning to turn right, across my path, but she had a red light. Granted, there was not a "No Turn On Red" sign, but she needed to heed the pedestrians and there was traffic coming from her left.

This was a late model Audi, I think.

The car was partially into the crosswalk, but did come to a complete stop. I had ample room in the crosswalk to pass in front of this car without impeding the oncoming traffic parallel to my route.

Well, I got one step in front of this woman and she gunned it. It's a good thing I was there or she would have been t-boned by the oncoming traffic. The scary thing though, as I hopped on my right leg and rolled face first on to the hood of her car, was that she was shoving me into the oncoming traffic that she obviously didn't see as she wasn't paying attention to me.

Yipe!

So, thankfully, she did stop quickly, and I rolled off her hood into the intersection. I gave her the New York "WTF?" sign - no, not the finger, but outstretched arms, upraised palms and a chagrined look, pleading, "Why?"

She mouthed, "Are you OK?", but she didn't get out of the car, nor did she roll down the window, nor did she put down her cell phone.

I'm sorry, people. I've done it (rarely), I'm not innocent, but there is not a one of you that can convince me that it's safe to drive and talk on the phone. I got lucky. I'm fine, but next time, some schmuck is going to get his ass totally creamed by a goddam car. Blammo!