Disgustorama

The day started out pleasantly enough. TB slept relatively late, until almost 8:00. Had coffee and read the paper until it was time to take him to Sunday school. It's his last time until September. One day I'll tackle the topic of the moral rights and wrongs of dropping your child at Sunday school and hightailing it out of there without ever setting foot in the chapel for services.

I had promised a bike ride today, since TB received a new bike yesterday as an early birthday present. His old bike was starting to rust and he blew the tires out a couple weeks ago. We replaced it with a nice BMX bike from Dick's Sporting Goods. I say it's a nice bike, because it cost $125 but it was the cheapest one they had! Still, he got four good years out of the old $40 bike, so I don't mind the price.

After Sunday school we headed for the greenway. The new bike is a little big for him, so he's still getting used to maneuvering it. He only cut off one car down by the hospital. Overall, not a bad debut outing. The biggest problem was that once we reached the farthest point of our ride, it started raining and blowing pretty hard. We were soaked and cold by the time we got home.

Some dry clothes and lunch made it all better.

Then, I knew the chore list was coming, because my wife started asking me "What do you think about . . . ?" Whenever she starts a question that way it means there is a task at hand.

It started easily enough. TB had a friend over so she wanted to go through his room and purge a bunch of junk while he wasn't paying attention. You know what I mean: little plastic Burger King toys, random pieces of string, worthless key chains, piles and piles of school worksheets and art projects (you can't keep them all, right?).

That project took about twenty minutes, and then it went downhill fast. Apparently, in our main level shower (which we never use), there has been evidence of little black ants coming and going. She asked me to caulk. Ugh. I hate caulk, but I knew it was a necessary project because there were some loose tiles and obvious cracks around the shower floor. Also, I noticed the caulk around the commode was getting discolored and unpleasant looking.

Then, the thing I dreaded most: a clogged bathroom sink. Have you ever removed one of these things and all the other pieces connected between the sink stopper and the wall pipe?


I have to clean them out a couple times a year in our bathroom, I'm guessing because of makeup and those other mystery potions that LBB uses. This time, though, it was my son's bathroom. I hadn't taken that one apart since we moved here 6 1/2 years ago. Oh. My. God. How do you describe the the most wretched thing you've ever experienced? I mean what the hell is that black, slimy mess that congeals up in there?

Every time I do this I nearly gag. It's an easy project so I can't really justify hiring someone to deal with it, but it would almost be worth it.

So pardon me while I take a long shower. Later I may have to do some tequila shots to erase the memory of this wretched experience.

Aren't you glad I shared?