Mean Little Trolls

It is rare that I wake up for good in the middle of the night. My sleep pathologies usually pounce the instant I turn off the lamp. Generally, I read myself to sleep: click off the light and snooze. If it isn't going to work, I know immediately. It's like my brain is on an inverse parallel circuit with the lamp and all neurons fire up at once. Light goes back on, book back open, and I try again. This used to torture me often through college and the years I lived alone. Not so much any more.

Last night, everything went well. Lamp off, day over. Then at 4AM, I woke up, had some water, laid back down, closed eyes. But then slowly, very unlike the roar of unwelcome awareness at lights-out time, the worries started to creep in one by one. Each lingered awhile, holding my focus, then slowly backed away as it greeted it's replacement. None left completely. It felt like being at a party where you are involved in a conversation, but you can still overhear and comprehend others. My demons were mingling and the party was starting to pop!

It is too late to intervene pharmaceutically, so I give up on it. So what mean little trolls are blocking my journey across the bridge?

Rats! It's the first of March and my car inspection sticker just expired yesterday.

Spring is coming, lawn care time. Should I get the mower serviced?

I only have six weeks to do my taxes!

I only have six weeks to do G'diddy's taxes! Where will I find the six minutes it takes to deal with that?

How hot should I make the chili for the cook-off this weekend?

Why isn't the Contact Me form I embedded behind the Hotties image acting exactly the way I want it to? Maybe I can try this to fix it. No, that won't work, maybe this will. Should I just delete the code until it works perfectly, or leave it since it is functional? Arggh.

Then there is this! I'm not talking about the underlying socio-economic issues, but the sheer biological horror of it!

That steak I had for dinner was really rare. How long before E. coli symptoms set in?

Damn! I'm out of shaving gel. I have to use soap in the morning and I'm going to shred my face like fresh parmesan.

When is the last time I called my mother? Call your mother, you ungrateful, long-distance, visit-three-times-a-year, no good son!

Then I started doing work related projects in my head. I won't bore you with that, but it was the signal to give up and get up.

Nothing too severe, huh? Why would these things keep me awake when I'd give them barely a thought, and little worry in the morning (except the work stuff, of course)? I guess that's a mystery best left unsolved, because in reality, these trolls could be a whole lot meaner.