Once Again, I'm In For It

Back in the February issue of the South Roanoke Circle, I have a column about how I fear my wife might wallop me over the back of the head with a frying pan.

Well, guess what? It's worse than that. A little background:

Nine times out of ten, she does the grocery shopping , usually on Saturday morning. This despite the fact that I very much enjoy grocery shopping, but her reasons for wanting to do it are valid. First, she takes G'diddy to the store and helps him out. Second, she doesn't like taking our child to the store. I don't mind it so much, but with him and G'diddy, it can be a lot to take. So TB and I usually spend Saturday morning on a bike ride, or something fun to get the day started. Third, she thinks I forget things, or just don't buy much in order to save money, so she ends up going two days later anyway. OK, granted.

I like to get cheapo frozen meals to take for lunch during the week. I'm talking 33 cent burritos, or Michelina's 10/$10. Not a whole lot to them, but they are cheap, quick, and easy, and they get me through the afternoon. Some days, I'll admit, the call of something from the Market Building entices me to leave Michelina in the freezer 'till the next day, but usually not.

LBB sometimes goes off course and buys me Stouffer's or Marie Calendar's, if they are on sale. That's fine. A little more to them, and generally a bit more tasty than the ones I pick out.

Well, four Saturdays ago, unfortunately, G'diddy passed out in Kroger. The rescue squad came, and to make a long story short, LBB called me, I took TB to a neighbor's and I rushed to Kroger. I found the situation under control, but he was going to the hospital. LBB went with him and I finished up the shopping.

[Aside: G'diddy did bust a few ribs and spent a few days in the hospital, but he is home and on the mend.]

I combined G'diddy's piddling few groceries with ours and headed to the checkout.

I was a bit shocked when I saw laid up on top of our cart, two of these:

Good God! Those of you who know me realize that I am no wisp of a man. I have a good appetite but this is just way, way too much! I put these back in the freezer, and replaced them with a few of those burritos I referred to earlier. I never mentioned this to my wife, though.

So, the next week comes around, and LBB again goes to the store. She picked out two more of these things and brought them home this time.

Just so there is no confusion, let me point out that LBB is a vegetarian. There is no way this mess is intended for her or the boy. So this morning, I grabbed one and took it on in for lunch. Usually, I know that looking at nutrition labels will be depressing, but this time I just had to look. You know why? This really caught my eye: there is 111% daily value of sodium in one of these! Have you ever seen a one serving meal have over 100% of anything?

Let's look further: total fat, 60%. Saturated fat, 50%. Cholesterol, 35%. Carbohydrate, 26%. Looking at the finished product, I'm a bit surprised the last two were so low.

So, I submit once again that my wife is trying to do me in. But now I think she truly wants me to suffer awhile first!