Bear In The Buckwheat

Yes, I have one more thing to crab about before I call it a night, but first, I thought I'd explain today's quote in the upper right sidebar. RDB is my father. "Look at that bear shit in the buckwheat!" is what he (and my grandfather) used to shout out to distract us before they swatted us in the head for doing something brainless.

What he is referring to is not a discreet pile of bearshit, in the buckwheat. Imagine a big ole' bear, squatting down and shitting in the buckwheat. That's the distraction, and that gets you a whack in the head. I'm not sure if he got his verb tense exactly right, but to me, the act of the bear is a much more powerful vision than the end result.

So, oftentimes when something disturbs me, I'll say that someone needs to hear about the bear in the buckwheat.

So here is something: I was thinking of ordering a sub tonight from a pizza joint that delivers to the hotel. When I looked at their menu, of course I checked to see if they offered anchovies as a pizza topping (because if they don't, it's not a pizzeria). Well, they do have anchovies, but with a big ole asterisk saying it counts as "two toppings". Huh? Not only anchovies, but the following all count as "two toppings": BBQ sauce, Pesto, feta cheese, parmesan cheese, chicken, meatballs, artichokes, red peppers, spinach.

Explain. Someone please explain why I shouldn't tell these people about the bear in the buckwheat!